Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
