So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
