I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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