It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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