Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dick has a subreddit
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
