Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
