My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
