I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Barsexuality is the new black.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
