So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
