My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car