one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.