On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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