hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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