Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Pooping to opera.
Randomize