i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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