Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
