i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
