would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the day after is always just damage control
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
