I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
