I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
