Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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