why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
