But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
