Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
