Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
