How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
