If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
