How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
