whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Use "feeling words"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?