I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.