So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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