Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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