I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
