your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
