I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize