I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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