weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
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I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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