I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
