When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
