I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize