I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
