You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
sex in a hospital.. check
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize