Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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