We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wear drunk well.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
