kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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