summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
