Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
