Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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