My Higher Power is John Stamos
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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