So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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