Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When are your genitals available?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
