so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
