Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
