I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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