turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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