I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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