I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
