Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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