sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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