His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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