i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
