why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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