if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
