Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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