we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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