I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
