On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
