Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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