you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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