i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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