Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
