another moral hangover. fuck.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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