Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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