I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
